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Answers to Frequently Asked Questions
Q. My teen will be turning 16 pretty soon. What's the first thing I should do?
A. Postpone the trip to the DMV. I'm serious! Before you do anything else, it's essential that you decide whether your teen really is ready to learn to drive. So many parents have told me they're worried about putting their soon-to-be 16-year-olds on the road. My answer often astonishes them: If you have doubts about your child's readiness, then don't allow him or her to drive. Make your child wait. That's right! There's nothing magical about age 16, despite what your teen may tell you. There is something potentially horrible, though: 16-year-olds dies in motor vehicles three times more often than 17-year-olds -- who themselves die four times more often than adults. No question, 16 is the most dangerous age on the road.
Q. What about driver education?
A. The statistics are pretty plain regarding this subject as well. Amazing as it sounds, there is no correlation between driver education -- either in school or via commercial instruction -- and lower crash rates for teens. There is even some evidence that driver ed. might contribute to crashes, if not accompanied by strict parental supervision, because it can instill a false sense of confidence in inexperienced drivers.
Q. Why should I teach my teen myself?
A. I'm asked this all the time. My answer is another question: Who better than you? You're the parent. You're the one who has nurtured and raised your child through 16 years of joy and exasperation. You've been the chauffeur to school, soccer games, piano lessons, slumber parties, doctor and dentist appointments. You've invested a huge amount of care and love and worry in your child. Why would you now want to turn over to someone else the responsibility for teaching your teen this most critical skill? Forget for a moment all the secondary factors associated with this issue: the legal age for learner's permits and driver's licenses, the availability of driver ed., and so on. Instead, concentrate on the most basic and important point: If this is your child, and if this is -- literally -- life and death, then how can you not take responsibility for the entire process?
Q. What are the biggest mistakes parents make where driving instruction is concerned?
A. You might think that the big mistakes involve a lack of patience during instruction or neglecting to teach a certain skill. Nope! Patience is a great virtue, but it's not essential. You don't need to be a perfect teacher. You can make mistakes, just as your teen will make plenty of mistakes during the learning period. But you are still in charge. Whether you're perfect or not, you're the one who must sign the paper and give permission for your teen to become a licensed driver. In other words, you are responsible. So, in my view, the necessary virtues are dedication to and respect for the process. The biggest mistakes are 1) quitting the instruction too soon and 2) turning over the responsibility for your teen's safety to someone else.
Q. What about defensive or so-called high-performance driving schools?
My recommended approach is to use them as a supplement--at the end of your parentally supervised instruction. Many professional schools offer fine programs that can help to build skills, but they all lack two essential ingredients for building a safe young driver. The first is time. No matter how exceptional a program may be, it simply can't substitute for building experience through hours and hours of practice. Think about sports or music programs. None of them could possibly hope to churn out a top-flight athlete or musician in just a few hours. Driving is the same--plus it can produce life-or-death situations. It requires practice and instruction and more practice. School programs, public or private, can augment that regimen, but they can't replace it.
The second essential element is parental supervision. All young people naturally lack judgment and maturity. They need parental guidance all the way through to adulthood. The frequent problem with sending a youngster to driving school is the youngster then tends to assume that he or she has gained all the necessary skills to drive anywhere at any time. You must continue to exercise your parental authority to prevent your teen from translating that wrong assumption into potentially dangerous action.
Q. What are the most common dangerous mistakes new drivers make?
Generally, new drivers are young drivers, and as I just mentioned it means they lack judgment and maturity. Their immature part means they're prone to taking rists, such as driving too fast for conditions -- even drag racing -- being easily distracted (particularly when they are carrying along their peers) and, far too often, drinking or taking drugs while driving. Their lack of judgment means they often miss potential hazards until it is too late. The tragic result is that in the five-year period, from March 2003 until March 2008, after the U.S. military invaded Iraq, about 4,100 soldiers were killed in combat, while here, on our own highways, more than 32,000 teenagers died. Those deaths were just as sudden and violent as anything that occurs in combat.
Q. It takes a lot of my time to drive my teen to so many activities. I've been looking forward to being relieved of this burden. Plenty of other parents seem willing to let their teens drive. Aren't you making too much of this?
A. I can't make this easy for you, because it's not easy. The facts are undeniable: Driving or riding in a vehicle is the most dangerous everyday activity we all face. But it's particularly dangerous for teens, and especially the youngest, least-experienced drivers. What's worse, their fatality rates have been increasing over the past few years. I know this is unpleasant to contemplate, but putting your teen behind the wheel -- or allowing him or her to ride as a passenger with another teen -- can increase the risk of death by as much as 12 times, compared with the risk involved if you do the driving. Given this reality, you face a choice between convenience and safety. You are free to choose convenience, but don't fall into the delusion that your child's safety isn't at stake.
Q. Okay, you've convinced me. I'm willing to take on the whole process. But I do think my teen is ready to begin learning. How much time should I spend each week doing the teaching?
A. For once, here's an easy answer: Spend as much time as is convenient for both of you. The amount of time per week isn't what is important -- it's the total time you spend. Teens require, on average, about 100 hours of supervised instruction behind the wheel, in a variety of traffic, time-of-day, and weather situations, before they really are ready to solo. That 100 hours could be spent one hour at a time, once or twice a week, over the course of a year. Or, it could be concentrated into daily lessons of a half-hour over a six-month period. The mix depends on you, your daily schedule, and your teen. But don't even think about going for the license until you've logged at least 100 hours. Think it's too much? Consider that the average high-school athlete has spent as much as 1500 hours in practice and competition. So isn't 100 hours behind the wheel a modest investment in comparison, particularly when the stakes are so much higher?
Q. But I've never taught anyone to drive. How can I do this?
A. Thanks, you've given me an opportunity to make a sales pitch! Safe Young Drivers will take you through the whole process, from the first day through the license and beyond. It gives step-by-step instructions for the parent to follow. And it explains each step to the teen. If you're a licensed driver and a concerned parent, you can indeed do this. All you need is time and a serious commitment to the welfare of your teen. The book will help you the rest of the way.
Q. What do you think about potentially dangerous distractions such as cell phones, iPods, MP3 players, CD players and other teens in the vehicle?
A. Parents have to be very firm with their teens about such things. Cell phones should be used only when the vehicle is sitting still. The radio volume needs to be kept down. Portable players with earphones should not be used while driving. And as a rule no teen should ride with another teen whose license has been valid for less than six months. The crash risk for two teens in a vehicle is double the risk for a single teen. The risk doubles again for three teens -- and again for four teens. A carful of teenagers constitutes a recipe for disaster.
Q. Do you recommend a driver's contract between a parent and a teen?
It depends on the family situation. The main objective is not the contract; it's setting down rules and expecting teens to follow them. If they break the rules, they must face consequences. If parents can accomplish this verbally, so much the better, but if they think the rules must be set down on paper, then a contract might be warranted. I'm a big believer in using driving instruction to foster trust between parents and teens. That's why, for instance, I'm really not in favor of pasting bumper stickers on vehicles driven by teens that offer an '800' number for strangers to call in bad behavior. I think that sends the wrong message. If a parent does not trust a teen to act responsibly on the road, then that teen should not be on the road -- period. Age 16, or 17 for that matter, does not automatically grant a teen the right to drive. Driving is a privilege that should be earned. Teens can and do make mistakes, but imposing a form of surveillance on them when they're behind the wheel in effect transfers parental vigilance and responsibility to strangers. This process, even when it works perfectly -- and it rarely does -- is not easy. But it is vital that parents approach it with the utmost seriousness, and that means showing consideration for their teens as emerging adults. It can be just as important as the technical instruction.
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